Bitter with Baggage

I am on vacation from the 9 to 5 and I am sick. I know what you’re thinking. God does hate me. I had high hopes for my time off of work. I was going to work out every day, practice my guitar, maybe even crack into my rosetta stone to learn a little more espanol. Instead, I am stuck in bed watching another Andrew McCarthy movie. The one cool thing about all this is I am able to actually write this in bed because the fiancé got me a netbook for Christmas. I really really love him.  And as we speak he is on soup duty, at the store picking up my favorite kind of soup and favorite tea. He really is a great fiancé. You should get yourself one but Larry’s mine.

The other upside to all of this is that I get to thoroughly enjoy my Christmas present from my bestie Court. And the fact that it is a book really shows you how great of a bestie she is. The book is Bitter with Baggage Seeks Same: The Life and Times of Some Chickens by Sloane Tanen.  And it is hilarious. It essentially is a picture book that comments on life through the eyes of chickens.  And every page puts a smile on my face. Let’s face it if you’re not bitter with baggage you haven’t lived!  Here is one of my favorite pages:

Besides the fact that this book is helping through the god awful pain of a sore throat, I also love it because it makes a great coffee table book or even a wonderful guest bathroom book. This is definitely the book to share.

So before you get sick go out and grab your copy of Bitter with Baggage Seeks Same. You will not regret it.  

The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Tonight I went to my favorite place on earth Barnes N Nobles. Looking through all the books I came across an old favorite, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

It is said that a 19 year old English hitchhiker Douglas Adams found himself in Austria with a book titled The Hitchhiker's Guide to Europe and though someone should write about the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

First it was a radio series in 1978, then it became a book in 1979. In 1981 it became a TV series and in 1984 it became a computer game. Finally after Douglas Adams passing it became a movie in 2005.

The story follows an Englishman Arthur Dent who wakes up one morning to discover that his house is about to be bulldozed in order to build a bypass. Ironically he is about to discover that Earth is about to be blown up in order to make way for a galactic bypass. He escapes earth before it is destroyed with the help of a hitchhiking alien, Ford Prefect. The rest of the novels follow their adventures through space.

What I love about the Ultimate Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy is it has all 5 novels. I could literally read them over and over again it is that good. One disclaimer though, the fifth book was actually written by Eoin Colfer after the passing of Douglas Adams. It is readable but definitely not as good as the rest of the novels.

Douglas Adam's writing style is saracastic, witty, and inventive. He takes every day events and makes them extraordinary. For example, he explains that Dolphins have been trying to warn us that the Earth was going to be blown up but we silly humans interpreted this as plain Dolphin tricks. And of course, as they left before the earth blew up they thanked us for all the fish.  

I hope you enjoy this one as much as I do. And of course, it gets the seal of approval from Marta's Better than Oprah's Book Club Book Club.

 

My Niece Romina

Now anyone that knows me knows I am not kid friendly. I was born that way. You can't hold it against me.

However, I had to share this story because it put a smile on my face.

My mom went shopping with my niece Romina and decided to get her an Icee on the way home from 7-11 to reward her good behaviour.

Romina- "Nona are you going to get an Icee?"

My mom- "No, sweetie."

Romina- "Why Nona? Is it because it makes you too hyper?"

My mom- "Oh honey, its going to take more than an Icee to get me hyper."

I honestly still can't stop laughing about this. Children are so innocent and naive :)

My beautiful mother and My cute niece

Married to Rock

My latest guilty pleasure is Married to Rock on E!. And it should be yours too; at least if you have lady parts like myself.  

Everyone wants to be a rock star and for a woman if you can't be a rock star the next best thing is to marry one! And now we finally get a bigger glimpse into that life. And as cheesy as it sounds, they are just like us.

First you have Etty Farrell. She is the wife of Perry Farrell from Jane's Addiciton. She is a classy, conservative mom of two who still rocks bleach blonde hair and silicon. Her best moment so far was being super jealous when Perry was caught dancing by himself with her look-alike replacement dancer. She of course took her dancing job back.

Next is Susan Holmes McKagan, wife of Duff McKagan of Velvet Revolver. Susan is a successful model and entrepreneur with her very own swimsuit line. What I love about her is she has a twisted self image just like the rest of us. She was asked to pose nude for a photo shoot and proceeded to complain about her old mommy body. Um... I'm pretty sure she must not own a mirror. The woman is half my size!

Then there is Josie Stevens, wife of Steve Stevens aka Billy Idol's longtime guitarist. Now anyone that knows me knows I am a huge Billy Idol fan and therefore a huge Steve Stevens fan and now ergo Josie is my favorite. I'm pretty sure her body and face are made of plastic but her heart is made of gold. Josie and Steve seem truly in love. The fact that he has allowed her to paint their kitchen cabinets pink and white and plaster hello kitty everywhere just screams, "I fucking love you babe!"

And finally there is the desperate and so sad AJ Celi, girlfriend of Billy Duffy from The Cult. She is cute, intelligent, successful and husbandless. She longs to be a rock star wife. I am crossing my fingers for you girl!!

Now I am not a reality TV show watcher but this one is classic. It really shows you that no matter what women have they are always going to be insecure, jealous, and a little bitchy. And if you don't think you are in that category you may want to put the crack pipe down and just enjoy the show.

First Book of Marta's Better Than Oprah's Book Club Book Club

Fat Vampire by Adam Rex

First I must clarify that this book is not the first book of my book club because it's my favorite book of all time. It is just a book that I recently finished.

Fat Vampire is a never coming of age story about a fat boy who gets turned into a vampire by the popular jock from school, who was also turned into a vampire that same night. This novel is a teen novel but it has enough cussing and sex talk in it to satisfy any adult.

The story tells of a fat boy, Doug Lee, who struggles with the fact that he will never be skinny, will never get older, and will now have to subsist off blood. On the flipside of course it is in fact a coming of age story. A story about Doug Lee who is a fat geeky kid in high school, who happens to be a vampire, and his best friend climbing the social ladder in high school, about falling in love with girls, being rejected by girls and then finally dating girls. This is a vampire novel for a reader who maybe is not the biggest vampire fan. Most of the story actually centers around an Indian exchange student who becomes the center of Doug Lee's affection.

However, for the vampire fan at heart, Doug Lee does get to do some cool vampire stuff. He turns into a bat occasionally and even uses his vampire strength to beat up two burglars at a convenience store.  Meanwhile, Doug is continually running from a vampire hunters show that is hot on his trail while being taught the ways of the vampire by some wiser, older, vampires.

The end of the story is a bit of a twist and may even be a little disappointing, but overall, Fat Vampire is a fun easy read and definitely a different kind of Vampire story.

Love to Love Courtney Love

I love Courtney Love. I have to say I love anyone who can play an instrument and rock out. As a girl who only sounds decent singing in the shower, I'm also extremely jealous of anyone who is the lead singer of a band. With hits like, Violet, Credit In the Straight World, Celebrity Skin, and Doll Parts, Hole was instantly added to my CD collection. And yes I do have a CD collection and still buy CDs. I keep it old skool. But let's face it, there is more to Courtney then her band Hole. Courtney gives people like me hope. She makes you feel like sure I can't sing and may not be that pretty but I can have a band and be successful too. And who doesn't love someone who can look like this one minute

 and this the next.

Who else besides Harry Potter can perform that kind of magic? And she is just such an incredible entertainer. Weeks will pass and you think you have forgotten about Courtney Love but then she answers the door of her hotel room completely naked! And tells the shocked interviewer that she is going to go put on $4,000 panties, how can you not love this woman?!? And only Courtney would have to shut down her twitter account because she, herself, put up a half naked picture of herself. I love it! The fun never ends with this one. So to her critics I say....

                                                                 

Now don't bother me, turning up the volume, "And the sky was made of amethyst, and all the stars looked just like little fish... "

Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha

My day started a little rough. I woke up way too late to straighten my hair. Massive bummer. And it was not until I got to my first doctor office (Im a drug rep) that I noticed my computer was not working! GRRRRRR... so I needed to find wifi stat to fix this situation. I remembered that Starbucks had pulled its head out of its ass and now offered free wifi so I booked it over there. I got online and called tech support. The whole matter frustrated me and made me surprisingly thirsty. So I walked over to the counter and noticed a promotion of a Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha. It was like the sign was glowing. I love peppermint and I love white chocolate and although I was a avid Peppermint Mocha drinker I never thought to add Peppermint to the White Chocolate Mocha. They called my name and I picked up the drink. I brought the hot cup up to my lips and sipped the most delicious sip. It was practically orgasmic. I was thrilled by this beverage that I isntantly forgave Starbucks for passing off Pike's Place as a good drip coffee. I remembered why I use to love you Starbucks and now I'm home. And everyone do not be fooled by the "holiday season" promotion. I learned many years ago that you can get peppermint anything year round. So drink up!

Introducing... ME

Hello Everyone and Welcome to my first official Blog!

I'm the cofounder of www.ProjectPeeve.com and these are my Favorite Things (I'm not always an irritable bitch) These are the people, places, movies, fashion, tv shows, books, etc that I like and love. While you are just discovering something I'm already addicted to it! You care cause I'm cooler than Oprah

Xoxo,

Marta