I told myself I was not going to write this. I was not going to do the cliché thing of talking about what happened in 2010 and how 2011 was going to be so much better. I became bombarded with blog after blog declaring what people learned in 2010 and how they were going to bring that knowledge into the New Year. I became increasingly dissatisfied. Everyone seemed to say the same thing. These blogs were filled with those classic sayings about how they learned to leave the past in the past. And how a person’s wealth is measured by how many friends they have and not how much money they have blah blah blah. Try telling that to my electrical bill. Therefore, I decided that I needed to write this blog in order to tell you exactly what I learned. And not shower you with philosophical moral b@$%sh#t.
Here goes.
In 2010 I learned…
That dieting sucks. I now know why every actress smokes because I would much rather risk lung cancer than have to stomach anymore plain dry chicken with another dam veggie.
That when my dvr screws up and does not record my tv shows I become a cranky bitch.
That great friends are really really hard to come by. You must be a great friend to those who are great to you.
That when people do a few nice things for you a year it does not make up for all the other bad stuff they do the rest of the year.
That you can get punched in the face over the most moronic insignificant absurd reason so never keep your mouth shut especially when you are speaking the truth.
That I don’t like sushi. Sure I can down a spicy tuna roll or two but why torture myself.
That I do not know why I continue to get talked into stuff that I do not want to do.
That no matter how much I tell the boys of the house which towels go where in the triple divided laundry basket, they will never get it right.
That I am truly ready to get married and settle down. I am over drinking until 2am and would much rather stay up reading because I can’t put the book down. And this is the first time in my life when I picture growing old with my boyfriend now fiancé that I get an instant smile on my face instead of world ending tunnel vision.
That people are super duper lazy. Most successful people are not innately talented or smart they just actually do what they talk about doing.
So here is to 2011! This year I will become a happy happy wife. I will be even a better friend to my true friends. I will rid myself of those that bring me down. And most importantly I will do what I always say I am going to do. Cheers!
